From the Ashes: Rebuilding After the Fire

“I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:59:20 -0400

“I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths. Whichever the case, the vast majority stands against that darkness. So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think ‘The good outnumber you, and we always will.’ ” -Patton Oswalt

My family is better than yours <3

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 00:08:20 -0400

My family is better than yours <3

How Things Are

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 23:59:11 -0400

Here it sits, now April and once again it has been months since I’ve posted anything. Let’s catch up a little. Sage and Kyersten are almost finished with their kindergarten year at school and are doing wonderfully. It has been Spring Break and my children, being my children, are ready to go back to school and learn. Sage is as much a spit fire as she has always been. That comes from being my child. Kyersten is still a little care giver, something I doubt she’s going to grow out of. Emmilya is now 18 months old and is honestly one of the brightest children I have ever known, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my daughter. She knows more words and phrases and speaks more sentences than any 18 month old I’ve ever seen. At the rate she’s going, she will hopefully be potty trained by the time she is two.

Since January, I have been in an internship teaching high school full time. I have three weeks left and I can honestly say teaching is what I want to do with the rest of my life. Making a difference in the lives of my students is an amazing feeling. I take what is hopefully my last required test next Saturday and as much as I hate standardized tests, I hope I do well.

I can honestly say I wouldn’t have been able to get through the past few months without my husband doing everything he does. I know being a stay at home dad isn’t always the easiest thing for him, but it helps so much knowing my kids are being taken care of by their daddy everyday than by anybody else.

A few things need to be cleared up so now seems like a good time to do so. Things within the family have gotten hectic on and off over the past few months. Things have been said that shouldn’t have and things haven’t been said that probably should have. None the less, once the apology comes out, and even without, FAMILY IS FAMILY. I am not one to turn my back on those I am related to, whether it be through blood or marriage. I may not always agree with the choices that are made, and I may be angry, but do not ever doubt that I will stand behind those who are family. I heed with one suggestion. Think before you speak. I am talking specifically to one of you, and your apology is accepted. I just ask not only of you, but all of my family to consider the words you speak before you speak them.

Things may not always be perfect. I may be stressed to my limits and have so much to do that it never stops, but I don’t think I would trade any of it for the world. I have three amazing daughters, a husband who loves me, a sister and mother who help me beyond belief, and two brothers, a sister, a nephew and a dad who I will protect to the best of my abilities, whether the same blood runs through our veins or not. Things are chaotic and amazing. That’s just how things are.

It's Been a While

Sun, 14 Oct 2012 15:15:39 -0400

I think the last time I posted anything was back in May. A lot has happened in the past four months. Sage and Kyersten turned five at the end of May. It’s hard to believe that it’s been so long since they changed my world. This summer was home to a lot of work and classes. Graduate school has been everything I expected and nothing I expected all at the same time. The work load I was prepared for. The classes, not so much. It’s amazing how deep you look into yourself and your past in regards to your plans as a teacher. I have my first field experience this week observing at Carolina Forest. Following Friday, I have thirteen days to turn around and start my first student teaching at the Academy. Starting in January I will be teaching the full semester, though I’m not sure where yet.

Sage and Kyersten started kindergarten in August. The adjustment period took a few weeks, but both of them absolutely love going to school and learning. As a teacher, I couldn’t be more excited about their love for learning. More importantly, as their mom I feel an insane amount of happiness that these two little girls who changed my life are so curious about the world around them. I’m proud that despite the statistics against them, both of my daughters are excelling in school.

Emmilya turned one last week. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year since she came into our lives. She started crawling at six months old, and started walking at ten months old. She says three or four words now. My baby girl doesn’t seem so much like a baby anymore. She has been such a source of happiness for me and her daddy.

The past four months have not been met without attempts by the world to make things fall apart. There seem to be those who still doubt my abilities, as a teacher, student, wife, and mother. No matter how much I succeed, I don’t think the doubts or attacks will ever stop. I hope my ability to push through will be an example for my daughters to fight back at every obstacle that comes to face.

Maybe it won’t take me another four months to update. If it does, just know that your support means a lot, or that your doubt means little. I know what I am capable of, what my family is capable of.

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that happens to it.”

Haha.

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 12:49:04 -0400

I haven’t heard from you in over nine months and now that I do all you want to talk about is yourself. Where’s the congratulations for graduating college? The happy birthday for my children? My happy birthday? The congratulations on the birth of my youngest? Haha. So you’re having surgery… Awesome. I’ll care when you want to be my dad year round, not when it’s convenient for you.

Officially a college graduate! :)

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 16:40:05 -0400

Officially a college graduate! :)

You swore I wouldn't make it.

Tue, 22 May 2012 00:16:21 -0400

Congratulations! You deserve to have idiot tattooed across your forehead. So I ruined my life by becoming a mother before I graduated high school. Guess what? I ruined nothing. I graduated high school with a 4.0 and scholarships to college. I was accepted into both Coastal Carolina and Winthrop Universities. And guess what else? I earned the grades to do so after I ruined my life by becoming a teenage mom. First statistic I beat: only 66% of teen moms earn a high school diploma. Fast forward four years. I graduated college! Walking across that stage two weeks ago took a lot of work. I made it through struggles that some “adults” can’t even handle. Between the ages of 18 and 22 I raised two amazing daughters as a single parent. I’ve fought in more ways than one to create a better life for them. I was lucky enough to fall in love and get married, just to have it go up in flames. Then I had the ability to rebuild my marriage after causing it to crumble. I have been blessed enough to give birth to my third beautiful daughter into this world. Here I am, five years after becoming a teen mom who ruined her life. I sit here now as the mother of three great children, a college graduate, and looking forward to starting graduate school in two weeks. Second statistic I beat: less than 2.5% of teen moms earn a college degree by 25. I laugh. By twenty five I won’t have a college degree… I’ll have two. As the fifth birthday of my daughters approaches, I look back and laugh at you doubting me. For a person who ruined their life over five years ago by getting pregnant at 16, I think I’m doing pretty damn well. I may have created my own obstacles to overcome, but I have. And I will continue to do so. So you still want to doubt me? Go ahead. You swore I would not make it! Congratulations! You deserve to have idiot tattooed across your forehead.

I’m a college graduate :)

Sun, 06 May 2012 21:09:24 -0400

I’m a college graduate :)

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…You know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do, give up? Quit? No, I realize now that when...

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 00:42:54 -0400

…You know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do, give up? Quit? No, I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That’s life. The confusion and fear? That’s there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.
- Nathan Scott One Tree Hill

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